Then, Now and Forward

“You are like that illuminating light. Let your light shine everywhere you go, that you may illumine creation, so men and women everywhere may see your good actions, may see creation at its fullest, may see your devotion to Me…” The Voice (c)*

homeward bound


One of my fore fathers amassed a fortune to pass on to our family, so his next generations thrived in the upper socioeconomic class. Late in his career however, his partner somehow robbed him of their business. All that was left to him were his personal assets.

For whatever reason, two generations later I grew up in very meager means. Indifferent to the class-consciousness of my previous generations, I am thankful my humble beginnings made me not only stronger than I had any right to be, but a considerable fighter.

I’m thankful to have raised my sons well in a comfortable life, despite many unexpected circumstances. As they began to set out on their own, I realized I was tired. At thirty-four years of age I was tired of fighting, pushing myself to excel at everything, always watching my back and despite my huge family, feeling entirely alone.

I am fortunate that at thirty-four I survived a heart attack that brought me to a complete stop. As I healed, I realized I had believed I must do it all, all by myself. Evidently, if I wanted to finish strong much later on I had to change.

At that point my life began a complete transformation. I recognized the anger I inherited and I stopped fighting. I began to recognize the Source of not only amazing strength but a mind that took me where neither reason, any formal education nor my history could have. From there I stopped surviving and I began living.

Although I argued the concept when I first heard it, all along the way one particular quote challenged me, inspired me, encouraged me and guided me. Soon my entire being gave way to faith in the One that is higher than I.

I have come full circle now; I’ve lived fully. My genetic statistics would have me taper off and hunker down for a peaceful end. While my sights are set on heaven and home, I am determined to take as many souls there with me as possible. Hopefully, they don’t all put up the fight I did, but even if some do I’m still all in. Now I live to shine.


*The Voice; Matthew 5: 16. The Voice Bible Copyright © 2012 Thomas Nelson, Inc. The Voice™ translation © 2012 Ecclesia Bible Society. All rights reserved. Courtesy, Bible Gateway



Filed under A Door Ajar

5 responses to “Then, Now and Forward

  1. Our Father is the God of 2nd chances. So glad you are on THAT path now. Shine your light, it will grow ever brighter as the road narrows!
    – Kenzel


  2. I’m all in too my friend. I’m enjoying catching up on your musings.


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