Routine

For the past few days I’ve been reflecting upon my early thirties. Then I’d finally come to appreciate the value of routine.

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**

God blessed me with a good foster mom. I often recall her saying during my child bearing years, “Mijita, todos ustedes tienen que tener horarios.” Not really grasping her meaning, I’d typically melt into her arms, soak up the love and forget what she said. In Spanish it sounded far more pleasant than when she would later tell me, “Girl, you must get your act together!”

I’d dismissed suggestions that I had more challenges than dyslexia, possibly other forms of autism. Who had time for health care while caring for four boys, an unpredictable, “bi-polar” and often violent husband, and all their companions-du-jour? Yeah, I knew about crazy – in other people. We were fine…  😉

For me if we all got up, everybody ate, got to school or whatever, nobody permanently harmed and got back to bed at night, it was a good day. I couldn’t grasp the value of scheduled daily tasks, a routine until my marriage finally ended. By then I stopped being a DV victim.

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**

Fast forward some decades and I live within a very structured routine. The time-space continuum shifts when my routine is altered. Erin and I are comfortable with this. She’s a night owl and I rise long before the sun does. Until the dam broke in the plumbing, etc. Aye!

We were unprepared for the disruptions to the entire property. Hourly the sudden changes annoyingly altered our habitual behaviors.

construction pixabayI confess, minutes into this morning I was setting things down and closing doors harder than necessary. “Where is the…” Living alone, controlled but intentional banging and “slightly slamming” doors, etc. to release tension worked for me. Such timid forms of violence is nothing compared to the savagery I’ve survived.

I remembered I no longer live alone as Erin stepped away from me – without the coffee pot. Violence here is never appropriate.

Because today, with so many tasks demanding immediate attention, Erin was up early with me, making coffee, using the bathroom, etc. The newly replaced futon mattress loomed over the love seat in the living room, against the linen closet – where we keep cleaning rags. The vacuum cleaner was parked wherever we used it last – and often. This is not our m.o. Have I mentioned our 480 square feet of crowded living space upstairs?

Now imagine the two cats nervously observing everything, add some large bags of items for family visiting for the first reunion in ten years. And we’re grilling for a small army of out of town family in light, intermittent rain, of course. That had to be ready for someone to pick up and deliver to Keira’s whenever they arrive. Then add contractors working all over the property. Chaos.

There we were, waking our bodies and our brains – in the same tiny room of the house together, simultaneously. One can imagine this is a potentially volatile scenario with two old broads well set in our ways. As the sounds of my banging around Erin increased in volume, she paused quoting, “Something vexes thee?*”

We laughed – hysterically. The frustration and tension from our disrupted routine was dispelled. We sat down together – with coffee and prayed. Several times. All morning.

friends coffee pixabay

“Most important of all, continue to show deep love for each other, for love covers a multitude of sins.” 1 Peter 4:8 (NLT)

 

*The late Alan Rickman and Geraldine McEwan from Robin Hood; Prince of Theives video clip courtesy YouTube

Photo Images courtesy Pixabay

** (c) 2016 Rapture Practice! Publications images not to be duplicated, shared or otherwise distributed without prior, written permission. Thank you!

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19 Comments

Filed under A Door Ajar

19 responses to “Routine

  1. What a lovely post. I enjoyed your family photo, and your clip for the added emotional effect. 😉

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  4. This was a great story. Yes, I do see some similarities to our past. What I enjoyed reading was the fact that you have found routine in your life. I lost mine a long time ago and can’t seem to get it back. I am still trying though!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you, Blue. This glimpse isn’t even the tip of the iceberg of our similar experiences. Your transparency actually inspires me to be bolder in my writing. As for routine, it was a long, slow process, constantly challenges me, but I function remarkably better within routine – especially pertaining to writing. One writer nailed it for me, “One can’t expect anyone to take your job seriously if you don’t”. Strict adherence to work hours and work days helped me. It’s not easy, but each small step forward helps immensely. Never stop trying.

      Imagine editing toward a deadline with contractors calling, “Hey Ma’am” every few minutes (like every time Erin stepped outside). Grrr.

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      • 🙂 My husband has been longing for me to step into my own with my writing. Blogging has helped tremendously. And Brené Brown’s talks on vulnerability has helped to give me the courage to begin owning my voice and writing. And to be willing to continue to show up! I have found more discipline with writing, now I need to find a routine with the rest of my life…!!! Thank you!

        Liked by 1 person

  5. I really don’t like any kinks in my routine, kind of throws me off balance but I’ve learnt to deal with such eventualities because they creep up whether we want them or not.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. BTW, nice pics of the younger you with the kids and your two-fie with Erin 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Oh, I can get pretty loud as well when I’m vexed!!!

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