Scare Scars

When I was young, I adored watching Sci-Fi movies with my Dad. When he worked nights I took it to the next level. Monster movies and horror; Dracula, Creature from the Black Lagoon, Invasion of the Body Snatchers, The Day the Earth Stood Still, The Twilight Zone… they captivated me.


And then came bed time. I’d lay in the darkness terrified a monster would pop up beside my bed – all it would’ve taken to stop my racing heart. Pop! Ahhh…. {Hitchcockesque faces flash and fade into darkness}

A few times after Mom or Dad swept the room for monsters – hours after I should have been asleep – they announced there’d be no more monster movies. Too late. By then the monsters were in my head. For-ev-er.

And those old movies got nothin’ on today’s horror films; the trailers alone give me chills.

graph-kid-bing-jpegToday I stick with classic Westerns and prime time network shows. Seriously, grading on a curve, including my station in life and all that led to my present situation, I have solid grounds to be scared. Okay, icy-muddy ground right now. I need no additional stimuli to feel fearful.

So here’s the rub: I’ve been passionately pursuing relationship with Jesus for over 30 years. He’s proven himself faithful time and again.

“Then [Jesus] asked [His disciples], Why are you afraid? Do you still have no faith?”*

And yet, sitting in my snug little cottage last night, a ceramic heater warming me, in the silence without a fire crackling I became very aware the wood supply was depleted. Worry, regret and anxiety began sucking the ambiance from the scene. I quickly became so distracted I’ll have to check Hulu to see who the bad guy was on Elementary, for crying out loud!

Without realizing it, I began brain-storming getting to the grove as soon as possible. Taking a sip of tea with my next thought, pain from my arms reminded me that won’t happen for several weeks and my mind spiraled from there – until the heater kicked in again.

kermit-money-pixabayThis is why Cole brought me the space heater saying, “The weather’s warming up. In the meantime you’ll be fine with this.” I however envisioned an electric-bill induced cash crisis and dismissed the heater for a couple more weeks – as I stressed my arms chopping more wood.

monster-pixabayIn truth I was afraid the little heater wouldn’t be enough, that I’d soon be cold, discontent or sick with endless sniffles – as if Cole doesn’t drop in to check on me every day or so.

Fear is a monster hiding under our beds. When we give it place it will rob our joy from even the best times. Father God knows what He’s doing. Just like a Daddy chasing away monsters so we can sleep, He sees to our every need.


Seriously, we can learn to recognize fear, confront it and stand against it. Granted, standing in the face of storms of life is often hard. Still, I’ve noticed when we stand against fear it dissipates. Same goes for hatred and want. That’s the kind of solidarity I’m talking about. And we start with standing and then take little steps forward – in my case with as little stumbling as possible.

Hours passed this morning while I processed my thoughts around this. I had spent yet another evening feeling discontent. But then I awoke happy, recognizing the sadness was actually fear in disguise.

Depending upon others, allowing them to care for me takes some getting used to. I’ll keep working on that. Meanwhile I’m cooking some popcorn. El Dorado is airing tonight!

“The thief approaches with malicious intent, looking to steal, slaughter, and destroy; I came to give life with joy and abundance.” The Voice

*Mark 4:40 (NLT)

Graph image courtesy Bing

Other images courtesy Pixabay



Filed under A Door Ajar, Notes from the Apex

16 responses to “Scare Scars

  1. Pingback: Featured Posts – Share Your Post Links | a cooking pot and twisted tales

  2. I stopped watching horror because I just didn’t need any more reason to feel horrified in my life. Well said Roo. Love the quotes you used.


  3. I saw that scripture when I turned my calendar this morning. Second reminder from you. Thanks. And thanks for being so open about your fighting the “fear” battle and finding hope in the scripture.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I sometimes feel a vague fear rising inside me, and I know the best way to get rid of it is to praise God and pray. However, the time between the fear and the prayer can last a while until I realize what is going on. I need a quicker response time! Thanks for writing about your battles. It helps to know others go through some of the same things.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. bisimodupe1975

    I like this….Confront and stand against your fear. He has indeed come to give us life in abundance

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Anonymous

    Awesome! Remember fear is only.. False Evidence Appearing Real!!!

    Liked by 1 person

  7. I remember watching Chiller or was it Thriller on TV every Saturday. That six fingered hand arising out of the swamp. I watched the Attack of the 50 foot woman, Them, Pod people and of course Godzilla plus all his monster buddies. At that time Daddy worked Saturday so he would call Saturday afternoon to see how we were doing. After speaking with Mommy I got on the phone sharing the latest 1950s B movie.
    As a child I used to have a reoccurring nightmare that Godzilla was rampaging along Linden Blvd in St. Albans, Queens, NY. I ran home to save my family. I had to rescue them.
    Now no more nightmares. Of course adulthood has its share of problems, obstacles and problems that are much worse than anything I saw on TV. MY parents have long since passed away so I must deal with my problems on my own. In reality there is no rescue and seldom a support system.
    One learns to cope by yourself.


    • I remember each of them too and believe it was Chiller – oh, that hand! Weren’t those times with our dads grand? I agree we must learn to cope. You and your darling brother seem to have found a higher path, my friend. Be blessed ❤

      Liked by 1 person

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