Reality Still

Shadow MLK

I’m not always the brightest bulb on the string. Sometimes I grope and grovel around to realize I must tighten my seat in the socket.

I occasionally misjudge – especially myself. Okay, I do that a lot, and can make myself fairly miserable in the process. Still working on NOT overthinking. My problem today is, again, fear – seeming like cowardice.

The latest shocker:

Meekness, non-violence is still often mistaken for weakness or cowardice. I recently confirmed this after yet another harsh self-judgement.

Digging into it I found the source of this particular fear; shame. I am sometimes ashamed for having occasionally responded to bullies and abusers ferociously.

“So now there is no condemnation for those who belong to Christ Jesus.“*1

Today me having to continuously confront my potential for violence may surprise some. It’s true. Preferring to avoid confrontations developed from those fears.

Constantly developing my trust in God helps me overcome that reality as I practice the way of the cross – strength through nonviolence.

Horrifying world events, and like many others, being “one paycheck away from becoming homeless,” I too could be steps away from crossing the line into madness, committing atrocities, and make deadly mistakes. Daily I must carefully consider and choose my way.

“Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.” *2

That’s my reality today. More than ever before I thank God, the Source of strength I easily take for granted.

Gandhi strong


I can live with appearing cowardly. Being slower than many people I admire is okay. Sure, to be a great thinker of stuff like many of my friends would be wonderful. I’m not. But I’m not alone either. God uses flawed humans, our friends, our heroes to shine into our lives. So once in a while, I have bright moments too. We are continuously faced with choices. Today I choose to make friends with my fear.

lincoln enemy friend

Practice makes perfect.


Reblogged (edited) from What Next 2016/07/21

*1 Romans 8:1 (NLT)

*2 Philippians 4:6,7 (NLT)

Images courtesy *FreeNeoWallpapers **Gandhi and Lincoln Images courtesy





Filed under A Door Ajar

7 responses to “Reality Still

  1. Meekness is wisdom and not weakness. Most times I avoid confrontation but I can be a Tigress when the need arises. I simply can’t suffer injustice in silence.


  2. Powerful post. I wish I had the guts to speak against injustice. Often times, I let things sit and wait for someone else to take action.

    Liked by 2 people

  3. Nice post. Some of us should forget that Martin Luther King was a black man, and think of him as a GREAT MAN. He, for what he stood for was a hero to me. Too bad most see him as just Black. Martin Luther King was a Man of no color.

    Liked by 2 people

  4. I do my best to walk away from confrontations. Actually once I left my previous job life became easier.

    I tried to get away by changing shifts, transferring to other sections in the Museum and even to a different building. No luck. Right before I retired last Year one employee threatened me. Yes he does Live in my neighborhood but trust me Street justice will rule.

    Unfortunately I was forced to defend myself. I’m certainly not going to allow someone to put their hands on me Male or female. When I Travel on the subway I have on my game face. In this violent society Women must be tough because Women are targets. Even from other Women but as far as the former job is concerned I Thank God for my Army training. Once certain females knew that I was in the military and I went crazy in the locker room they left me alone. I was prepared to carry out everything that I said to them. No guilt. No shame. No remorse.

    Same with some of the nuts riding the subway. About two years ago I saw a crazy woman run 4 tourists off the train. I was on my way to work. After that She came for me or should I say tried to come for me. I stood up and when She saw that crazy in me she backed down. Yes I do have a temper but my temper has saved my life otherwise I would have been Dead long ago.

    Liked by 2 people

  5. From this point in my life I know that “fear” is a spirit and it slithers into ones mind by negative emotions. I choose to kick that spirit out and live from the inside core of my being. I know who I am, Whose I am and why. Knowing who you are and where you come from gives you tremendous victory over fear. It is written; “He has not given you a spirit of fear but of power, love and a sound mind.” If we are Believers in Jesus Christ then we are our Heavenly Father’s children and we can live from our born again spirit; from the inside out. Fear has torment and it comes from believing that we are not really whom the Father says we are in His word. I love to read the Apostle Paul’s, Peter and James words in the Epistles of the New Testament. Oh that tells me who I am and why…..and that I am an over comer in Christ; more than a conqueror! I don’t have to live in fear anymore. It is a present tense truth. So I confess that I am what the word of God says I am, I have what the word of God says and I will do what His word says; not by my own strength or ability but by His Spirit. This is a wonderful way to live and I have deep peace and I refuse to live the way I used to. The Holy Spirit is given to every Believer in Christ to develop that kind of fruit; it sure wouldn’t come from me! It is of His power for an overcoming life on this Earth….my real IDENTITY!!!
    The greatest truth in His word is that I am His beloved…..He loves “me” and everything He does is out of that love; it’s personal, gentle, and powerful and when one knows that and lives from that perspective and truth-no devil can steal your peace, hope or trust. Jesus said; “In this world ye shall have tribulation, but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world!!!!” Whoo hoo! He teaches me how to master my feelings and emotions so they do no longer rule my life.
    Hope this helps you my Sistah!!!

    Liked by 2 people

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