Not Yet

I’ve been out of state and mostly out of touch for several weeks. I participated in a mission of mercy.

Upon my return an over-sized envelope, mailed to me by a close relative, stunned me. Two paragraphs detailed how the person does not “want to associate” with me anymore because, in that person’s opinion, me participating in that undertaking was “wrong”.

A long, long time ago I would have agreed.

Back then the person I just paused my life to minister to had broken my heart, violated my family and then did everything possible to destroy me. For years afterward, staying close to my sons often took all I had.


But here’s the thing:

I didn’t mend my broken heart. I didn’t restore my demolished spirit. I didn’t drive away the demons or recover my life. Nor did my family.

Jesus saved me.

And then Jesus saved the same person who hurt my family and tried to ruin me.

What’s more, Jesus wants to save the person that now hates what I most recently did in His name.

“…And so I discovered that it is not on our forgiveness any more than on our goodness that the world’s healing hinges, but on [Jesus]. When He tells us to love our enemies, He gives along with the command, the love itself.”
― Corrie Ten Boom, The Hiding Place

I understand. If I allow myself I can still feel all the pain. Again and again I prefer to feel how Love wins.

Despite being rejected by a loved one, given the chance to redo the past month, I would do it again.

Had I realized the relative was still bound in the past I would not have mentioned I was away or why.

Not yet.


“Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.”

Colossians 3:13 (NIV)

Images courtesy



Filed under A Door Ajar

23 responses to “Not Yet

  1. Sounds like you are falling into grace and that other person has not yet. And, of course, to fall into grace and deeper into Christ one has to let go. Of so many things. Peace and all good to you.


  2. Just checking to see if you had come back. Miss you. Hope your Christmas season was blessed. Blessings to you in 2020.


    • Dear Oneta, I sent an email to you. As soon as my service comes back up you’ll see me. Feel the blessings and keep praying it forward ❤


      • Hey, hey. I’m still here to say “You are special.” Thanks so much for continuing to read me and for leaving me likes to let me know you there. I do hope you are having a blessed Christmas season snuggled into the comfort of the Lord. That is a place that never fails no matter how much chaos is around us. Hang in, dear Roo. Merry Christmas and blessings to you.


  3. Hello, hello. Are you out there, Roo. I’m missing you. Can you give us an update? ♥


  4. Sheila

    I have a relative like this, in fact my Father was like this.
    I finally have peace bc its their issue and I can only pray for them.
    Know that and accept that your loved by Jesus.
    Our study is covering this, see you Wednesday I hope..

    Grace and Peace to you,

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you for visiting, Sheila💕 You’ve been a friend and a sister. God willing I’ll be caught up with the class annnd the painting (now that the rain’s let up) tonight.

      Feel the blessings and keep praying it forward 💗


  5. You have infinite patience. I’ve been estranged from a certain branch of my family for years. Once I made the decision to remove toxic People from my life, Life itself got much better.

    People who are bullies, abuse and manipulative know exactly what they are doing. Over time I’ve learned to Drop People without warning. Love doesn’t enter into the picture because it was never there to begin with nor is it my job to be understanding or analyze why they are so mean, nasty and rude.

    Why make excuses for other people bad behavior. I used to be nice, accommodating always apologizing. In other words a weakling and a target until I got tired of People running over me. I got tired of being a doormat. After betrayal Cut them off. The words Friend, Forgiveness and Love No longer have true meaning. Way too loosely defined. If I don’t like a person I have good reason and refuse to allow them to play havoc in my life.

    As Maya Angelou said, Once people show you who they are. Believe them.


  6. You are an extraordinary example of His love for your family members. May your disgruntled loved one see the freedom you have gained through forgiveness.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. This was powerful — possibly your most powerful to date. God is indeed good and his love can overcome all. ❤️

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Heart breaking. Life is so short and people are so quick to cut off relationships. I have a few of these in my life, including a friend that thought I should cut off a relative that harmed me. But because I personally could not hold on to the anger and found release in forgiveness, I was condemned by them. It’s a very strange place sometimes.

    Liked by 1 person

    • I’m sorry to hear you had to go through that, Mary. I’m also glad to say good friends have made the journey seem much better. Thank you, Mary. 💜


  9. It seems to me that people who suffer for God have a closer relationship to Him, and He empowers them to minister to people who truly need it. You listen and you follow the Lord. What a blessing you are to others! Hang in there. God may yet change the accuser. He has a remarkable way of turning things upside down when you least expect it.

    Liked by 2 people

  10. Bonnie

    Do you need to talk? Call me.  I am here for you

    Sent from Yahoo Mail for iPhone

    Liked by 1 person

  11. Wow, that’s intense. I know the Father is rejoicing in your willingness to let Him use your heart and your life as a vessel of His mercy. What a precious, beautiful testimony of what only He can do. I’m sending that quote from Corrie ten Boom to another sister who needs it, so thank you!! Praying and believing for Him to reach your other relative’s heart with the immense power of His love ❤ ❤

    Liked by 1 person

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