New Vision

Farther back than I want to admit, I gradually began taking life on a need-to-see basis.

Remarkably, unlike my siblings who needed eyeglasses in grade school, I had exceptionally good vision well into my 30’s.

I remember one First Day of School in our newest neighborhood at the time. I wanted to look cool. I seriously was not, so I borrowed my sister’s new glasses from her. I can’t imagine what I was thinking, but after one morning looking through her glasses, imagining her worldview without them gave me a whole new understanding about Sister.

From then on I was proud of my amazing eyesight.

By twenty-five I had survived a parent’s suicide, became an abandoned spouse and a single, working mom. Blind, raging ambition driving me, I became a force to be reckoned with, and a Tiger Woman in the business world.

As a teen I’d turned my back on the God I’d heard about but didn’t see much of growing up in church. Decades later around the same time my eyes began changing, transformation also started in my stony, little heart.

As my vision began fading, the whole world seemed different.

After surviving a car collision that actually should have killed me, God had my full attention. I suddenly got over being angry at Him. Days later I longed to meet the Jesus I’d heard about years before.

Forget a nonchalant shrug, that day Atlas actually gasped. Sure, I didn’t suddenly decide to change. God had pursued me for years as He gently guided me along, but that’s a different story.

I began to realize all I had given up on as a child – thinking I’d imagined what I had once believed. I was thirty-something and already survived more anguish than most people can imagine.

Once I actually met Jesus I fell completely in love with Him. Weeks later I walked away from my high-paying, misery-generating job and law school. Hours afterward a heart attack pinned me to the floor, but I wasn’t afraid, worried or nearly done yet.

I was saved.

Everything in my life changed dramatically. Everything included needing glasses to read. And then for driving. Soon I needed trifocals.

Certain of God’s love for me and having good spiritual vision was genuinely life changing. I no longer needed to watch my back – for the first time since I was a kid, I knew God did. Like everyone, I continued to experienced more losses. Still, I stopped dreading what each new day might bring. And I no longer need my amazing eyesight to survive.

With God watching me closely, life on a need to see basis actually works for me.

How do you get through hard times?

“He (Father God, my Shepherd) renews my strength.
He guides me along right paths, bringing honor to his name.
Even when I walk through the darkest valley,
I will not be afraid, for you are close beside me.
Your rod and your staff
protect and comfort me.” Psalm 23: 3, 4 (NLT)

 

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Life On A Need To See Basis: I’m Emily Litella’s Kid Sister!

I enjoyed exceptionally good vision most of my life. I could clearly see things both up close and at great distances that most people only imagined. Those that spent any time with me quickly understood I had Superman vision – without that x-ray thing.

Perhaps that’s yet another aspect of how I find the aging process so entertaining. Honestly, while failing vision disturbs some, and others have lavish budgets (or excellent private insurance) that pay for corrective surgery, this humble starving artist gets through the present with humor.

Today for example was my one and only foray outside the walls of our home for the week. To most readers that sounds a little sad and unimaginable to some, but this is me today. I was so happy about getting out and about I somehow forgot to take eyeglasses with me. Granted, I have backup readers tucked away in my purse – too much to dig out when I can get some kind stranger nearby to read small print for me – yeah, I go there.

So, driving northbound on 380 I noticed the electronic marquee over the HOV lane, advising drivers that use of the HOV lane will cost $8.25. My first thought was “That seems exorbitant,” followed by, “Mercy, are tolls in Texas that expensive?” And finally, “I wonder if there’s a ceiling on tolls.”

Before I could bring the subject up with Roan, who was driving (in her usual, get-outta-my-way-so-I-get-there-without-bloodshed style), we were close enough for me to see the sign correctly, and discover it actually read HOV Lane $3.25. I laughed out loud. Roan asked, “What?” My response, in true Emily Litella fashion, “Never Mind.”

Roan didn’t get it.

A little further on as traffic slowed, my heart rate quickened as I watched a hawk approaching above us. The amazing bird seemed to be holding in its talons what I imagined was prey… Then it appeared to be leather straps – hmmm… maybe it’s a domesticated hawk. Oh. It’s actually a heron. How lovely.

Classic SNL clip of Gilda Radner as Emily Litella and Chevy Chase

But I came upon my favorite illustration of this subject on the return drive home. Back on the highway, barely moving along, I noticed nice, enormous blue letters across the face of a large building proudly advertising Physicians Open Stand-Up MRI. At that point we were stuck in traffic with that particular scenery. That’s when I noticed what looked like a drive-through alongside the building. I’ll admit it, one of my many next thoughts was how technology has advanced! Imagine taking an MRI in a drive through!

Of course I took a photo.

Only now that I see it was actually private, covered employee parking, I confess that I couldn’t get my head around the idea of a drive thru MRI. Not really!

So now I’m home, the groceries put away, I’m considering what to post about today. But instead I can’t help but wonder if my grandparents appreciated Gilda Radner’s Emily as much as I continue to do, or if they took more of a Jane Curtin response to her. I think I’m in good shape since I still clearly envision them all today!

I love you forever, Gilda!