Tag Archives: humor

Feel Warmer Yet?

We interrupt this cold spell to remind you summer will be here before you know it.

“Yet what we suffer now is nothing compared to the glory he will reveal to us later.”

Romans 8:18 (NLT)

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Squirrely

So, for the third time since fall CableCompany is telling us demon squirrels have destroyed the FIFTEEN-OR-SO-YEAR-OLD lines. Now they say they are replacing all the cables in our entire area.

Whatever.

What this means to us:

Our strongest INTERMITTENT speeds have been even less than our usual sub-standard (1.29MPS down/1.08MPS up) all week. So, I’ll be taking a long weekend to continue working my mobility and dexterity. I’m glad to realize improvement over last week. I also want to say that if I was sure 60% is God’s will I’d accept this as my new normal.

Not. Feeling. That.

I’ll keep you posted. Meanwhile, have a great weekend!

“But those who wait on the Lord
Shall renew their strength;
They shall mount up with wings like eagles,
They shall run and not be weary,
They shall walk and not faint.”

Isaiah 40:31 (NKJV)

 

Image courtesy Pinterest

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Off Day


Semi-awake for what seemed like moments, but was actually hours, something told me today was going to be different.

There was no golden light flickering from the stove, so I’d slept far later than usual. Only my body’s natural functions urging me toward the bathroom roused the slightest inclination to move.

*

I tried to think… Soon enough I had all the numbers right in my head.

The fall happened 15 days before. For several days any movement sent bolts of pain rocketing through my left arm and torso. With that I re-evaluated my priorities. For the first three days you can believe I took Flexeril morning and evening. After that I needed my brain back.

14 Days ago:

  • I wake feeling thankful that God spared me any skeletal damage.
  • AND THEN I attempt to move. BIG MISTAKE. I’m certain everything from my lips down broke. Where’d that doctor buy his credentials anyway?
  • Despite the alarming scream Cole heard from the main house (barn cats – honest), I assure him he can leave for work – I have his number and am not afraid to use it.
  • I thank God I can walk. And I’m thankful for ice packs (and did I mention Flexeril).
  • I’m very thankful for all the leftovers I routinely store in the freezer. And disposable dinnerware can be a good thing.
  • Note to self: Replenish Cole’s picnic supplies.

12 Days ago:

  • Tried to tie my long hair with one arm. There are worse things than loose hair. Everywhere.
  • Keying hurts no matter how I position the keyboard. (Note to self: Practicing Speech-to-Text will help build the S-T-T vocabulary.)

11 Days ago:

  • Thank God for automatic transmissions! Drove myself to church.
  • Note to self: Get over yourself. Allow those who offer to help me. just say thank you

10 Days ago:

  • Stitches came out of my face.
  • I dare anyone to try applying ointment and butterfly closures twice daily – with one arm blocking the mirror.
  • Makeup?  Oh, funny girl! BwaHaHaHa!

5 Days ago:

  • I daydream about cutting and donating my hair sooner than I’d planned – before the fall.

4 Days ago:

  • Almost 50% range of motion on my left arm and shoulder.
  • This helps explain why the right arm aches too.

2 Days ago:

  • My Doctor and I got to chatting and forget all about my injured left arm. Until she raises it.
  • We’re both over it now.

This morning I realized that for 15 days I kept up with my routine single-handedly taking only two extra hours per day AND I’ve expanded my Speech-To-Test lexis.

Thanks God!

Once I fully wake today I shall enjoy a special day off to simply be.

“Do you not know? Have you not heard? Yahweh is the everlasting God, the Creator of the whole earth. He never grows faint or weary; there is no limit to His understanding. He gives strength to the weary and strengthens the powerless.”

Isaiah 40:28, 29 (HCSB*)

*Holman Christian Standard Bible (HCSB)
Copyright © 1999, 2000, 2002, 2003, 2009 by Holman Bible Publishers, Nashville Tennessee. All rights reserved.

 

* Image (c) 2019 RapturePractice! Pub.

All other images courtesy Pixabay

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Pretense

In memory of the recently recycled HealthriderPro let’s revisit a not-too-distant ruckus:

For weeks we’d been juggling some items between the main house and my cottage. We replaced my long craft/dining/kitchen table with a far more accommodating 41” round table. It’s not the drop leaf kitchen island I envision for the area – yet – but this certainly frees up more floor space.

And then Cole announced he must find a place for his treadmill.


After a quick flashback of the previous year’s exceptional weather I told him, “I’ll figure something out.”

With all the bells and whistles of a gym-quality machine, his Healthrider Soft Strider Pro is wide and sturdy, so it’s heavy. With the handy space-saving fold-up track it’s awkward to haul – especially over the gravel driveway.

After ten days of the treadmill and its electronic controls waiting under a moving pad – in the heat, the voices in my head got loud:

She canna take any more, Captain.  She’s gonna blow!”

Not willing to ignore Scotty, I devised a plan to move the obstacle that strong, fit Brother left by the porch steps (I’ve learned not to ask silly things like, “why,”).

With some boards over the gravel and an appliance hand truck I slowly, carefully rolled the treadmill through the car door into the cottage. Don’t be impressed – it’s all about leverage. Fine. Leverage, balance and the Luck of the Irish.

Once inside I needed to position that mammoth monolith for use with the least amount of effort. This was tricky. I needed it where I could view my 32” television/computer monitor, but not obstruct the flow. Feng Shui, people.

So, this is the part where I realize one of the wheels that would ordinarily move the thing easily over the concrete floor are jammed, immovable.

“Where’s the damn antimatter inducer, Chekov?”

That’s when I remembered a technique a friend described years earlier after her family had purchased a somewhat dilapidated farm house. After repeatedly asking her husband to fix stuff, and allowing a reasonable waiting period, she went all strategic.

Like FarmGirl described, I pulled out my tool box and every power tool I could get my hands on and tactically placed them around the treadmill, slightly obstructing the doorway. And then I waited.

As FarmGirl said,

“Nothing motivates men faster than the sight of  a woman with power tools.”

I’m not sure if I would actually have tried to fix the wheel myself, with or without the circular saw or grinder, or not. But I am now convinced that

sometimes a good pretense makes the best offense.

That evening, after a pitcher of iced tea Cole had the treadmill rolling easily. I can now jog to my heart’s content while catching up on my favorite audio books, programs and movies.

 

“The Lord is good to those who depend on him, to those who search for him. So it is good to wait quietly for salvation from the Lord.” Lamentations 3:25, 26 (NLT)

 

Featured Image courtesy ABSFreePic.com

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Filed under Notes from the Apex

Over It

*

I can’t be that unique. With the flora that has fed and shaded us dying, I noticed emotions are also more heightened than usual. I wonder if that’s because the reminders of death are everywhere. Maybe it’s not just me. As life slows a bit everything seems to have more meaning.

We’ve passed Halloween. The Day of the Dead (Dia de Los Muertos) will be behind us soon. Perhaps that has me thinking more than usual about loved ones that have passed on.

**

Like it or not, loss is a huge part of life. I think the worst kind of loss is when humans fail to get over hurts and insults and neglect love.

With the year-end holidays in particular we like to gather with family and friends. My offspring and siblings learned early on to get over the bad stuff and appreciate our time together. Today we are geographically distant so keeping in touch requires extra effort, but I’m glad to say that with few exceptions we manage.

I imagine that’s part of why I can’t forget those who have gone on lately. I tried, but haven’t escaped the longing to see them, to be with them again. I’m just not ready to die to make that happen. Still, I miss very many loved ones.

So, today especially I thank God for my siblings, my offspring and my good friends. Though miles separate us, our mutual losses, one of our most prevalent common bonds also hold us together.

My prayers today are that we always remember that those we hold dear could be gone in a heartbeat. And that’s why I can be extra annoying with extra phone calls, texts and emails – now, before we are all caught up in the busy-ness of the holidays.

If some old issue continues to trip you up, I can’t encourage you enough to kick it out of the way and move on toward peace.

“The righteous cry out, and the Lord hears them; he delivers them from all their troubles. The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” Psalm 34:17, 18 (NIV)

 

*Image courtesy James Gussy, 2018 Chicago, IL

**Image courtesy pixabay

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In the Wind

I’m not gonna lie, I’ve enjoyed having a like-minded friend on the property these past few seasons. I especially enjoyed our good-natured teasing back and forth. I’d ridicule her for wearing pink kitchen gloves under her garden gloves. She’d mock the way I bent in half over the garden rows instead of stooping.

Sad that my friend wasn’t there, as I gathered the last of the tomatoes I reasoned, “There must be something more important going on.”

But I’d been at it all morning. I’m not only very ready to be done with this years’ garden, but with the wind whistling past my ears I hear strange things. When I look around there’s nothing there.

Disappointed the sunflowers didn’t produce any seeds, I left the last row to have been planted last spring, the wildflowers, for mother nature to enjoy as they dry up. We both love them so I can’t bear to pull them up.

Finally done filling my bucket, I pushed the business end of the water hose back under the fence, gathered my tools and gloves, lifted the bucket and headed toward the house for the last time until spring.

Why couldn’t she and her pink gloves be here to finish the job?

I thought I heard someone again. I’m sure it’s the wind carrying sounds from the neighboring homes through the trees that are rapidly losing their leaves. I shrugged it off again and closed the gate without turning back. Certain nothing would come up from the rows till spring, I assumed it’s just my heart missing my friend and walked on.

Whatever it is, it will keep till spring.

 

“Don’t let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God, and trust also in me [Jesus].” John 14:1 (NLT)

Dear Readers, this is as horrific as I get. ❤ Roo

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Red Faced

For the first time in way too long I took a vacation.

I don’t mean a road trip on the way to my next home, a wedding or a funeral. For two years I saved for this leave. Even with the kids’ help my carefully planned time away from home included lots of air travel departing during inconvenient hours. Most important, it provided down-time with my darling offspring.

Since I would not be available to help gather the tomatoes, they had to be harvested before I left.

Seasoned travelers and most smart girls know to get together with friends the week before a vacation. Together you shop, update your wardrobe, enjoy a meal or two, and they share the little details that enhanced their recent journeys.

Instead, Izzy and I spent that time spreading tarps beneath tomato vines. Then we shook and cut the vines, loosing tomatoes. This also scattered THE DUST that collected since the sprinklers stopped rinsing everything clean daily. And then we drug and lifted the loaded tarps into wheelbarrows, stirring up the dirt that had been drying for a week.

Yeah. We know how to have a good time!

“I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want.” Philippians 4:12 (NIV)

Despite masks and goggles, the dust set me to sneezing, with my sinuses filling and then draining profusely. My skin also itched terribly – especially the tip of my nose. The following day, my apex nasi* became tender and by the next day it was incredibly sore. *I looked it up. It’s a thing.

And did I mention RED? Not a flattering shade either.

The day before I was to depart on the next length of my travel, despite all known precautions and remedies, the redness became deep purplish-red. Yes, a painful heat radiated from above my columella. (*It’s the flesh that separates the nostrils.)

Makeup barely concealed the colors resembling orangutans backsides. What’s more, it needed touch-ups every couple of hours…

As I boarded my first flight I felt like Rudolf the Red-Nosed Reindeer guiding the last remaining passengers onto our plane. Still, I actually appreciated people quickly averting their eyes from my bleak beak.

During the flights I imagined AlmostSixYearOld taking one look at my face and bursting into tears in fear of this unfamiliar, scary-looking person. I could well imagine EightYearOld staring in wonder or stifling giggles.

Unfair as it was, I was determined to enjoy time with my gang – and to shop around the airports between flights for a miraculous concealer, mask or perhaps a stylish niqab. As anticipation rose, I imagined the heat and pressure on my face did also.

“Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see.” Hebrews 11:1 (NIV)

To be continued…

 

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Filed under A Door Ajar

Support

Have I mentioned the frustratingly unstable internet connection here in my cottage? I often miss the good old days, hard-wiring Ethernet cables into the backs of desktop computers. They were buggers to move about, but the connection was usually dependable.

*

Annoying as the unreliable cable/WiFi repeater service here often is, I get by. I utilize my laptop, my smart phone and my tablet. By tablet I mean my old Galaxy S (ahem) 3.

When nobody else is home and the cable service isn’t down – yet again, I can also carry my laptop up to the main house and log in there. And when all else fails I can drive into town and connect at the local library, book store or coffee shops. Above and beyond security risks the latter comes with a myriad of distractions and diversions. One of the perks to being me is having nothing anyone else wants. Still, public WiFi is an absolute last-resort.

I consider myself blessed to have options.

This all brings me to another reason why I especially appreciate the blogging community. It’s another aspect of how marvelously God draws like-minded people together.

  • Like me, most of my blogger friends strive to post only seasoned, final drafts. Even so, sometimes mine have little errors. On the rare occasions I don’t catch an “oops” between scheduling and an actual posting, at least one of my fellow blogger friends (knowing I’d agonize over such a thing) will shoot a heads up my way right away. Typically mockery and witticisms ensue at both ends.
  • The same friends also realize I often comment from the aforementioned GS3 device – with not-so-nimble fingers. They kindly correct obvious keying errors before approving them (yeah, typos).
  • Then there are the ever-so-fun Speech-to-Text translations that can hijack an intended point, confusing the cleverest comment – often hilariously so. These same friends intercede as necessary.

*

So finally, my point (you’re welcome):

We all experience times when life and technology seem to get the better of us. Life itself is a learning process. In the grand scheme of things, however silly I may feel, I’m delighted to find that often I’m not the only silly soul around. I believe God orchestrates us to bring out the best in one another. This helps us get over ourselves in the kindest ways possible.

 

“Most of all, love each other steadily and unselfishly, because love makes up for many faults.” 1 Peter 4:8 (The Voice*)

 

*The Voice Bible (VOICE) Copyright © 2012 Thomas Nelson, Inc. The Voice™ translation © 2012 Ecclesia Bible Society All rights reserved.

*Image and Feature Image courtesy Pixabay

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Filed under A Door Ajar, Notes from the Apex

Acquiesce

I was to board another plane soon. Nothing new: hurry, clear security, find the right gate, and then wait. Walk around. And wait…

With planning and foresight long journeys have never been that big a deal. But as this third departure date neared the deal felt huge. Traveling on an unforgiving budget required me rising at ungodly hours. By ungodly I mean – no matter how I tried to rest – I’d drag my exhausted self up 60 – 90 minutes after I finally drifted off to sleep.

Despite all my forethought and intentions, as desperately as I wanted restful sleep before traveling, my mind unfailingly kept me awake. The beast is simply unruly.

*

I was packed and ready to walk out the door. And yet hours after praying and retiring as I’d planned I was still awake, rehashing my mental check list:

  • Clean house.
    • Why? First thing upon returning I will clean again.
      • Wait. Did I vacuum under the bed…
  • It’s been too long since I visited the grand kids. Skype and Phone calls don’t tell all.
    • What if they don’t like their gifts?
  • What if my hand washables don’t dry in time – a first ever since the 1960’s?

This is crazy. I  MUST sleep.

  • Did I chuck perishables from my ‘fridge? I don’t want foul ‘fridge when I get back.
    • I refuse to get up and check.
  • What is that smell? Did I overlook something?
  • Crap. Did I pack the new underwear?
    • I am NOT getting up to check.
  • Did I send the final version of my last submission?
    • (Still haunted by that time I actually posted a first draft by mistake,) a panic-stricken Roo sprang from the bed, unpacked the laptop, started it up… Yes, I’d sent the “final.”
      • I repacked even better this time.

Before long I wondered if I dozed through my alarm. My phone blindingly insisted it was after midnight. Hmmm… The date was the 29th.

My flight is at oh-dark-thirty – on the 30th.

I laughed out loud. And then prayed again, “Okay Lord, the joke’s on me. Please, please take over now.”

With that amen I was sound asleep.

I awoke the next morning refreshed, energized, all packed and ready to go. After a great work out I hiked the river trail and then gathered from the garden. When it was time I went right to sleep and woke as planned.

You’d think God planned it all that way.

“So humble yourselves under the mighty power of God, and at the right time He will lift you up in honor. Give all your worries and cares to God, for he cares about you.” 1 Peter 5:6, 7 (NLT)

 

*Image and Feature Image courtesy APSFreePic.com

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Late March Moon – Walk #12

They can appreciate some cooler thoughts in the Tri Cities this week, so

Reblog from March 23, 2017 via Late March Moon – Walk #12:

 

Dawn broke despite my slumber.

I rose and bolted, then watched the moon lumber.

I ran to catch up with the day.

Then I stopped; some clouds had swept the moon away!


Apologies, verse and images by E.V.A. Lambert (c) 2017 Rapture Practice! Publications

“Each time he said, ‘My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.’ So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me.” 2 Corinthians 12:9 (NLT)

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2018-08-10 · 06:00