Super Bowl Sunday was a little bit of a letdown in my cottage. Yeah, the teams played an exceptional game into overtime – go Pats! The Falcons defeating Green Bay in January deflated the season for me. I tried, but by Saturday night I was weary from a few restless nights in a row. Once home from church I excused myself from the game party and retreated to my cottage.
Left to my own devices, by nightfall a couple of “iffy” calls had become concerns. When I would normally have been sound asleep or at least soaking my aches and pains, I was in a scrimmage in my head – with myself.
On the way to church that same morning, Good Old Friend and I planned to save time after services getting a few last-minute things. She’d drop me at one market and then I’d walk to meet her at another. Hut!
My purchase and then, careful of my footwork, walking the whole 200 yards took moments. But then I couldn’t find her car in the lot. As I looked for her I maneuvered into the practically deserted store and got two items that were at the front – still watching for her.
Half an hour later, sidelined outside the main entrance, I realized I hadn’t turned my phone ringer back on after church. Defense – Twenty Yard Penalty! The twenty-minute-old text glared at me from my purse, “Where are you?”
By the time I was in the car, Old Friend was rushed. She had driven back to the store where she left me, didn’t see me on the way there or back and began to worry. She politely waved away my apology for diverting from her play. Dropping me off, good byes were genuinely warm and quick.
Later, alone in my cottage, I began replaying that experience and others from the week – spoiler alert – from my weary perspective. Again. And. Again.
Despite my attempts to avoid it, I ran plays till I couldn’t see anymore. I loathed how I felt. Being considerate and patient with my feelings is hard for me. And there’s the rub. It was all me.
Considering Old Friend’s kind, patient character, I’d prayed my knees sore asking God for help.
I woke refreshed, but not long into the next morning’s routine I noticed the previous night’s darkness creeping in again. I stopped cleaning (okay, organizing the firewood by type and then diameter), and grabbed my Bible to find another play.
Working on my article was not going anywhere believable. I flipped through my pocket notebook; my thoughts while away from my desk, and especially off-topic notes from sermons. My latest entry froze the gridiron:
“My inadequacy relieves me from the burden of trying to do God’s will in my strength.” *
I’ll spare you the drivel drama details. My whole upset was over one intercepted throw that had me feeling inadequate, unworthy, with no chance for a draft.
I like being independent. But left to myself I plow into walls that defy all logic. Aside from having my own vehicle my present circumstances suit me perfectly, but they also open opportunities for new, unexpected plays.
Practicing my touchdown dance here.
Before I got back to my story, Old Friend texted me to confirm our next coffee date and then sent a photo from her game party with her family. Awww…
“It is not that we think we are qualified to do anything on our own. Our qualification comes from God.” 2 Corinthians 3:5 (NLT)
All images courtesy Pixabay
*From Charles Stanley, In Touch Ministry, Those Feelings of Inadequacy